yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize