How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you had me at cake vodka
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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