you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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