we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
