Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
