I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize