i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
