Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
