What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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