I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
