i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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