I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
