So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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