The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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