shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
