Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
