Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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