There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
