We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
