i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
