I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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