i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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