question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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