haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
