that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
