No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
