i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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