I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
