It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize
