Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize