Already got asked if we're dating
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
