I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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