So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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