Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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