It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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