Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
