walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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