idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize