Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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