Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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