the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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