Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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