Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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