Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
