K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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