the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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