and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
