he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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