D3 body, D1 cock
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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