It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
