Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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