Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I FOUND THE LEGS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize