just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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