My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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