If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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