haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
