Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
