she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
