i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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