Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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