I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
